Holiday in France

I'm getting back to writing after three months of not writing very much at all. In fact, I haven't even had decent time or space for reflection at all, and it's only due to this one-week holiday in France (with my partner and her sisters, mother, and a friend) that I've been able to stop and think for any substantial length of time (while the girls have been exploring the countryside).

It's interesting (scary) to notice how easily my energies are diverted. Extra responsibilities at work uses both time and mind-space previously available for reflection, study and other Dharma practices. Fortunately, the pressure from work is slowly decreasing, and this together with a planned solitary retreat in early September are the reasons I don't worry, at the moment. I hope to be back with my ordinary work load towards the end of the year.

It seems as if solitude and retreat are necessary conditions for intensification of practice, at least for me. For the future, I will need to make sure that I give planning for times of solitude the same weight as planning for other retreats or holiday.

Without the depth of practice that I know I can have during and after a time of solitude, my time feels wasted, which in turn makes me feel frustrated and agitated. It is enough to know that I've wasted much of my life wandering aimlessly, without any purpose, from one thing to the next. To know what needs to be done, and to not have the time, space, or energy to pursue it, is far worse.