Mind

It seems to me that my mind has texture, like the air I breathe has texture. With texture comes a certain solidity, something tangible, something that may be perceived or experienced, and shaped. From encounters with Reality, I'm left with impressions.

Saturday 2 January 2010

Water fasting experiment, day 7, looking back

Today is the last day of my seven-day water fasting experiment.

It's been interesting and I have learnt things about myself. I will probably continue to notice how this period of fasting has changed the way I'm living.

These are the effects of fasting on the way I behave and on how my mind works, as far as I can tell at present:

  • My energy levels from day three and onwards is seriously below what they usually are. I feel frail when moving about and take extra care to minimize strenuous movements. It feels, for example, as if biking would be a bad idea as I know that walking usually requires less energy. If I did cycle, I would be out of breath soon and would need a long time to recover, with a lot of huffing and puffing. Bending down for a short while and then standing up again will make me feel slightly dizzy.

  • Having said that, my energy levels have been remarkably level. I wasn't really tired throughout the days although I did take a nap most afternoons. Hmm... I was either not tired, or I simply did not notice being tired. I'm not sure which is right now when I think about it. In any case, I have not noticed any particular ups or downs. Usually, I often suffer from "sugar crashes" after a meal (often after lunch for some reason), i.e. feeling sluggish, sleepy, having a hard time concentrating, but not during this week.

  • I found myself planning my days much more than what I usually do. I quite enjoyed this. Not the planning aspect of it but the fact that once laid out, getting through the day would quite simply be a matter of following the pattern I had already decided upon, leaving more time for thinking and reflecting.

  • With depleted energy levels, I found that I was very careful with movements. Maybe measured is a better word. It feels as if I am moving like an old man.

  • Day two and three were the most difficult days. I don't know enough about the physiology of fasting but I believe I read in the famine response article on Wikipedia that there is a shift in the way that the metabolism works after about three days of fasting which possibly may have something to do with it.

  • I think that if I do this again, I will limit it to four days only. After day four, the only noticeable change in myself is that I am becoming physically weaker. Not eating is no longer a problem, and the act of working with discipline to counter craving therefore becomes too easy to be interesting or beneficial in any sort of way.

  • I'm definitely multi-tasking less. I do one thing at a time. I won't say that I find it easier to build up concentration or focus, but when a focus has been achieved, it is easier to hold it. This applies primarily to focus in physical activity, such as talking to people, carrying out tasks around the house, walking outside, and shopping. It also made it easier to sit and do nothing for long periods, which I found that I enjoyed. Reflections also came more naturally and it was easier to consciously carry them forward.

  • Preparing for meditation became more of a ritual (again, the word measured comes to mind) but this may just be out of habit, an effect of the retreat-like circumstances that I have been living in during most of the week (silence, not much contact with busy people, etc.). The mediation itself is also different in character, in a similar way as what I said above about focusing in physical activity. The effect was not as great on my meditation as on my physical activity though.

  • I think that the overall effect on my mind has been that of a settling down. My whole being feels more calm, centered, and contented. This isn't to say that I've lost any initiative in my practice, but it does mean that things definitely has become clearer, that the things/values that I feel are important to me has entered the centre and that other things simply have been shifted out of focus.

  • Out of all Dharma practices, it was in the end not meditation that changed the most, but the way I was able to reflect.

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